stress .
i'm really starting to feel the stress already. there's so many items due but yet so little time. it's time i really do something about it before i breakdown, which will be like soon. ):
1:37 AM
damn .
i cant find a perfect youtube video for this. i cant type out exactly how i feel. cause to be frank, i dont even know how i feel now. mixed feelings i guess. disappointed? furious? sad? relieved? i dont know. its seems like they are all there but it also seems like they arent there. i dont know. there should be alot of happy stuffs for me to blog. but i cant find them anywhere. happiness is no where near me. and people, nope im definitely not emo-ing. and i definitely cant rant it out here. not to anyone too i guess. i think i have been putting up a brave front to everyone. me too need someone to care. me too need someone to listen. but none of these are happening to me. no one truly cares. no one truly listen. im seriously not trying to boast. but i truly care for others and listen to their troubles when they need me. but how many people actually do that when i need a listening ear? right. often i hear stuffs like, "come talk to me if you need someone to talk to" from alot of people. but how many can swear that if i were to call at 4am, you would really wake up and listen or just plainly entertain? you know, i dont really care if someone see this and say "stop whining. you are just trying to grab attention from your friends". if thats the case, i can proudly tell you im not. cause all along i dont have it, and i have no reasons to need it now. i dont know what im typing. it might be over tomorrow. it might not. but as usual, i'll put on another kangjie infront of everyone else. the kangjie everyone see everyday. i think i just had to carry on this way.
i dont want to be an angel anymore. no one listens. i cant be devil either. i cant bear to do it.
i need to get out of all these. i need a break. but who can save me?
12:47 AM