Teacher: You’ve got to expose yourself more to poems.
And when I say expose, I don’t mean going naked in front of the poem and reading it.

Student A: How do you pronounce this word? Shaaalllooow – is it?
Student B and C: [look at the name list] Chloe!

Teacher: See it’s very difficult to fail math – and you all managed to fail – that’s genius!

Teacher: I could be your grandfather.
Student: My grandfather’s dead.

Teacher: Do you know the meaning of the word ‘social masturbation’?
Student: Uh … I know the second word.

Teacher: How many apples were eaten in the Garden of Eden?
Student A: Two!
Student B: One.
Teacher: C?
Student C: I don’t know! I’m not good at math!