KANGJIE

Thursday, June 19, 2008

rubbish .

i dont feel too good now.

no.

im not sick.

its just another mood swing of mine.

its been very long since i had this feelings.

was browsing through past entries of two blogs just now.

everything that had happened seems like yesterday.

memories.

had both good and bad times.

was laughing through some posts.

aww.

memories.

walked home from weiwen house to mine was short.

but just now.

it seems like a hundred miles away.

alot of things flash through my mind.

love.

friends.

and,

d***h.

through my whole of secondary school life.

i can only be the Mr Nice Guy.

but sometimes,

i wish i can be someone's Mr Guy.

its not im desperate to be one now.

its just,

something you wish for.

its something beyond our control.

reasons?

1) Cause she's afraid

2) She don't see a difference

and for another?

the one and only reason?

1) The timing is just not right

and of course.

im not pinpointing to anyone.

im talking rubbish now.

and forever.

i had no sense of sercurity.

over what?

something that spells,

F-R-I-E-N-D-S

and they knew it!

i know i have great buds around me!

i know they will be there when i need them!

i know i can share my happiness with them!

i know i can share my sorrows with them!

and each day,

i know more and more about them.

what's so wrong about this?

im afraid they will leave me one by one sooner or later!

im afraid we will not be in contact sooner or later!

im afraid they might put me out of their life sooner or later!

im afraid i might be invisible to them sooner or later!

okie!

im talking crap now!

and yesterday im pissed because of you.

its been so long.

and yet you are still clinging on to it.

he wont change because of you.

not anymore.

and even if you dont feel like what i've to say next,

i still got to say.

"Accept this fact and move on"

i just wish i could be drunk now!

i feel like gulping down that bottle of vodka i had in my kitchen.

and in around 9andahalf hours more.

i would be at timberland.

working my ass off.

and now im blogging this shit!

gonna leave now!

i need a shoulder to lean on guys!

kangjie.

166th episode.

P.S I LOVE YOU

3:36 AM